OFFICE DESK ENVIRONMENTS



THE BARREN

The Barren been there for years, but has as desk as empty as a desert. It's as if he he's expected to be fired that afternoon, every day, for almost two and a half years. The Barren may have a few binders, a pencil cup, 3 pens, and maybe a stapler on their desk. Instead of an actual pencil cup, they most likely have a paper cup or the free coffee mug given out at last year's office party. This guy probably isn't going out to lunch with others very often, if at all.

THE OLD SALT

The Old Salt is nearly the opposite of the barren. The Old Salt has only been working at her new job for only a week or so, but looking at the desk, one would believe they have been there for years. They have 12 or 15 binders, a full filing cabinet, 3 pictures of their family, 4 pencil cups filled with every color and type of pen that is in the supply room, and 7 stacks of documents neatly labeled with multi-colored post it-notes. This person is probably working 20 overtime hours a week.

THE TOYSTORE

The Toystore does not necessarily have children; they are, however, a grown adult. He has somewhere between 7 and 42 different toys on their desk. They may have Tonka trucks, Legos, cartoon movie characters, stuffed animals, magic tricks, chattering teeth, or an assortment of rubber balls. Odds are better than even that anyone can strike up a ten minute conversation, work related or not, with The Toystore at any point during the day.

THE LONE PICTURE

This person is usually a man, and can also fall partly into any of the other categories listed here. The Lone Picture has one ten-year old picture of his family. His, now 19 year old, daughter looks like the youngest daughter in the Brady Bunch. This guy probably has a child not yet born when the picture was taken, but you wouldn't know. The Lone Picture can't be bothered to put up a picture taken in this decade. Though you can't quite put your finger on it, you know there is something a little off with this person.

THE FOOD AMBASSADOR

This Food Ambassador wants to be your friend, and will buy your friendship with sustenance. The food found on their desk may be as simple as a small dish of candy, or as elegant as a bowl of fresh fruit. But don't be mistaken, the free food comes with a price. Just like the mob, if you take something from The Food Ambassador, The Food Ambassador will want something in return. So be prepared to hear about her grand kids, the dog training class last night, or even the mischief her cat was got into.

THE COLLECTOR

The Collector throws nothing away. His goal is to make his desk look like the warehouse in the last scene in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Instead of putting folders in file cabinets, they prefer to stack them as high as the laws of physics will allow. Cardboard boxes that should have been deadfiled when was in office are still under The Collector's desk.

THE NATURALIST

On The Naturalist's desk sits as many plants as she thinks is possible to have without getting fired. There's probably a fish or two thrown into the mix. This is the only place in the office where the air is passable fresh. When going on vacation, The Naturalist will pick one lucky person to water and feed the 17 plants and 4 fish on her desk. That person will then most likely remember to feed and water the fish and plants the last working day before The Naturalist returns.

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