MISSION STATEMENT:

Looking to not work any unpaid overtime. Seeking great benefits and short commute. Hoping to show up late and leave early most Fridays and Mondays. Large bonuses are a large bonus.

CAREER SUMMARY:

Underappreciated and underused nearly all of professional life. Feel like I'm dying on the inside while constantly wondering what can save my soul. Quick learner and hard worker who has to date been given little to do. Strong on the computer with good eyesight.

CAVERNOUS AND OPPRESSIVE - Graduate Architect (2 1/2 yrs):

• Translated rough SD sketches into scalable CAD drawings for designers
• Overheard half-conversations on phone and convinced myself it was a valuable learning experience
• Instead of reviewing and understanding application for payment, photocopied 387 pages and passed on to supervisor
• Picked up redlines on countless sets for numerous project types and sizes

MUCK AND USELESSNESS - Paid Internship (9 mos):

• Fixed broken toilet seat and replaced numerous lightbulbs
• Swept sidewalk and took out garbage during slow periods
• Often picked up food for lunches I was not a part of
• Learned the critical skill of looking busy while not given any work for two weeks

DEGREE STATE - Academic Experience

• Bachelor of Architecture
• Participated in Collaborative Urban Design Competition - resulting in lots of pointless talk and a fancy model built at the eleventh hour
• Produced numerous detailed pen and ink drawings (some with watercolor washes), as well as other work that will never translate to the real world

ADDITIONAL SKILLS:

• Know decimal equivalents inch divisions down to 1/8". Know nearly all 1/16" numbers.
• Excellent at showing no signs of despair when being overly criticized for 1 mistake while receiving no praise for the 487 positive accomplishments.
• Know how to use copy machines
• Know the same computer programs that everyone else in my position knows

NOTABLE TRAITS:

• Only steal from company when feel taken advantage of
• Never sleep at my desk
• Excellent collator, letter, legal, or large format - more efficient than a lazy person and cheaper thana fancy machine